Moody lately?

I was in a bad mood mode yesterday, so bad that I slept for nearly the whole day, even in realization that I have so many works to do, so little time left.

The feeling that I had was quite ineffable I might say. It’s hard to explain and actually, I have no idea why I felt that way. I was pissed at little things, like my baggy trousers that caught tonnes of sands on my way to the kulliyyah, and some really rude people blocking my way into the cafeteria. I even cursed at my own car just because it didn’t start after only the first attempt. In normal circumstances, I would just shrug them off, but not yesterday. I was so mad!

Back in my room, I slept throughout the day, got up only for some toilet and water cooler breaks. My mind was numb, I couldn’t think of anything to do. Problems and loads of outstanding works are piling by the hour and yet, those didn’t bother me at all. It did the next day though.

Today, my mood had improved. I woke up with a great feeling, like something good was around the corner. Well, as it turned out, I was wrong. The day, up until now, is a bad one. Got more works to do, while so many other works still undone, my wallet is thinning out, and I’ll be having a test tonight. But I am still in a good mood. This really baffles me.

After a little pondering, here’s what Afif thinks. I think that sometimes our mood can just go wrong all of a sudden, but that doesn’t mean it happens for no reason at all. I don’t know about other people, but I think I figured out one of my reasons. Sometimes, I tend to get lazy in my ‘amal. Sometimes, my prayer time goes haywire; sometimes I don’t recite even one surah from the Holy Quran. Most of the time I’m aware of the obligations, but sometimes I simply let myself live an easy life, which, in other term I call an unproductive, meaningless life, without the ‘amal.

Little did I realize Allah has so many ways to punish me for my carelessness. Sometimes, He will take away things I need and love, like my laptop and my money. Sometimes, He gives me sickness and diseases like flu and migraine. And sometimes, all He does is just switch my mood from OK to KO, and everything falls apart, turning my life upside down. And just to highlight His power, he flipped my mood the very next day, and let me face all the troubles caused by my mood the day before. And all of this, seemingly, without any reason at all. And just because my mood is OK, I think why on earth did this happen. And when I think about it, I got the reason (it’s a blessing, isn’t it?), got it?

Yeah, it’s confusing. But I get it, and I hope you do. If you don’t, then just remember, He is the Almighty, has power over us and can punish us and bless us all in the same time with as little as a bad mood day. Don’t be careless with our ‘amal.

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~ by jfa3903 on October 2, 2009.