Baby Dumping Issue Part 2: Sex Education

Let’s continue our discussion on baby dumping issue. As mentioned in my previous post, one of the better solutions for this problem is to educate the youngsters about sex, i.e. sex education. Now, this issue has been debated over and over again without any conclusion that might lead to a responsive and effective conclusion. Majority of the society agree to the fact that it is needed, yet most of them are sceptical and ultra-cautious when it comes to sex, as it is still widely considered as a taboo in our culture. The idea of educating the kids about sexual matters such as intercourses, contraception methods and male/female anatomy horrify most parents, thus it is never implemented.

I share the concerns of feeding the youth with all these information, as it may backfire. How so? The more they know about it, the more they want to dig deeper, and the more they dig, the possibility of them trying it out will get bigger. This is because in the sex education modelled by the westerners, they focus on contraception and STD prevention rather than refraining the teenagers from pre-marital sex. They oppose the idea of ‘demonizing’ or ‘criminalizing’ sex, as it is a natural process of a normal human to have the arousals, urges and eventually engage in sexual relationship. This type of education is blatantly wrong and misleading.

What type of sex education can we have then? In my opinion, we do not need to go into the physical aspect of sex when educating the youth but rather explore the morality and psychological aspect of sex. This is very much in line with what the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W taught us when it comes to controlling our sexual urges.

During the time of the Prophet S.A.W, he was visited by a companion with a problem. The companion is a very good worshipper, as in he goes to the mosque, prays 7 days a week, read the Quran etc. However, there is one thing that he couldn’t control, that is the urge to commit adultery. He consulted the matter to the Prophet S.A.W, and the solution given was fairly simple yet deeply effective. The Prophet S.A.W told the companion to think this; the women he’s about to commit adultery with might be someone’s daughter, sister or mother – put yourself in these relatives position. How do you feel if your sister, or daughter, or mother, or even your spouse commit what you are about to do with other men? Wouldn’t you be enraged, ashamed, embarrassed or feel cheated and betrayed? Sure you will, and that will prevent you from committing adulteries.

One of the most detrimental effects of adultery/pre-marital sex is psychological, as it will leave a deep scar in our minds and souls. First and foremost, self-loathing will almost definitely occur whereby you will hate and curse yourself for not being able to control your urges. This will happen even if you have sex with the ones you love e.g. girlfriend or fiancé as deep in your heart you know that it is wrong, and it will haunts you for the rest of your life. You will also think lowly of yourself that you will find it difficult to share your life with someone better (if you find one), simply because you are not worthy. This is why in Quran it says adulterers will get adulterers as their spouses, as the psychological scar left on the sinner will never go away.

Secondly, think about the perception you will develop on your partner. If he/she can do this with me, how sure am I that he/she won’t do the same with others? The all-important trust that spouses should have will be compromised, even if you get married afterwards. If you committed adultery/premarital sex before, you will find it impossible for your spouse to trust you, and if your spouse is the one committed the sin, you will never trust him/her wholeheartedly. At the end of the day, the marriage/relationship will collapses, further worsen your psychological well-being.

These are two of many more examples on how adultery/fornication can ruin lives psychologically, and this is what we should teach our youth. By explaining the psychological effects of fornication, we will be able to fend their curiosity and in the same time avoid spilling all the information that may backfire on us. In this way as well, we won’t demonize or criminalize sex, as our focus will be on premarital sex and adultery. The psychological effects will never occur on matrimonial sex.

You may call my views as naive and shallow, but this is what I think will work. This is not THE ONLY solution of course, but at least we have to admit that we don’t have this in the system, we should and it may help us curb the baby dumping problem in our country.


~ by jfa3903 on September 15, 2010.

2 Responses to “Baby Dumping Issue Part 2: Sex Education”

  1. ‘prays five days a week’ bang? I don’t think soooo….

  2. i dun think ur opinion is naive n shallow. it’s what everyone with good islamic basic will think.

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