Life as I see it…

I’m not sure how I should start this blog entry, as I’m getting bored of writing about me not writing stuff for some time. So, here I go, without a decent opening statement.

Firstly, I have regrets that I want to share with the world. I regret not spending enough time and money for reading. I envy those who read a lot. It gives them a deep insight and out-of-the-box views into issues all around us. I’m aware of the issues, but in most cases, I hardly understand them well, at least not well enough to write about them. That’s why I have not been updating my blog, as I have too little to write about. And that is my other regret; not writing as much as I wanted to. I do not intend to waste your time reading entries that have no significance and substance. I want to write something that matters.

Some people say that blogs are not really meant to be too academic, too factual. It can be considered as a journal to pour in our thoughts, and submit them for comments and discussions among the readers. I think that’s quite true. But then again, if you write dumb stuff, what kind of discussions will you spur?

So I vow to read more, and write more.

I’ll start with sharing some incidents that made me think a lot recently. The first one is on the various forms of trials and punishments Allah can give us in this life. I always thought that the trials and punishments come in tandem with our actions/wrong doings. For example, I wrote about the trying time I had during my matriculation days. I got beaten down by my grades as a result of my deviated lifestyle. In this case, Allah tried me with the worldly temptations, and when I failed, He punished me with very bad grades. It sounds pretty simple, logical and straight. However, I learned recently that it is far more complex than action-and-consequence concept when it comes to our life.

Recently, my friend got fired for no apparent reason. The only explanation we got is he’s doing his job too well it’s not good for the company. Some says the real reason is that some people in the company felt threatened by his works, so they made up stories and excuses to oust him. The real reason; only God knows. In this case, there is no action that warranted the consequence. My friend asked me, and himself, again and again what he did to deserve this. Why is Allah punishing him? It made me think. This may be the long overdue punishment for the bad things he’d done somewhere in the past 26 years of his life so far. However, there’s another interesting theory that I stumbled upon amid this incident, that is, it’s actually a trial. Maybe Allah wants to try him, to see whether he can still be grateful to Him, get rid of the prejudice towards his boss and move on and keep on working hard even after all the injustice he suffered. Or it may as well be both.

What I want to say is, trial and punishment can come in a package. It may even be the same thing. The best part is, not only our sins are pardoned when we suffer the punishment, but we may also be rewarded when we overcome the trial/punishment with patience and perseverance. In the end, even in the harshest day of our life, we are blessed by Allah’s ingenuity in educating, reminding and punishing us.

The second incident is about unconditional love of a parent towards his/her child. It was my payday, so we went out to buy some groceries after I got back from work. We discussed earlier that we have to be extra thrifty this month, as we have extra things to buy and fix, which will cause a large chunk of our income. Therefore, on that day, we managed to spend only half from our usual shopping trip, which made us really happy. The feeling disappeared instantly when we noticed something wrong with our son Aufa. He was awfully quiet and weak, and he was wheezing. Both of me and my wife has asthma, so we are very familiar with the symptoms. Aufa also had blocked nose at that time, worsening his condition. Because of the budget constraint, we also agreed to go to government hospital instead of private ones, as the medical claims procedure in our company is tedious and time-consuming. However, seeing our son in such a weak condition, we decided to go to the nearest clinic. We went to a private clinic, and it cost us quite a fortune, as the case was quite severe.

When we went home, Aufa felt asleep and we thought he’s recovering well. We were dead wrong, as just past midnight, his condition got worse. He had another attack, this time much worse than before. We drove him to the hospital and spent hours there waiting for Aufa to get his treatments in the emergency ward. After another 2 doses of nebulizer, the breathing got better and he looked much happier and active as usual. Only Allah knows the joy we felt in our heart to see him up and going like that. We were so tired and sleepy, and we had to go to work the next day (in just a few hours), but it was totally worth it.

In any other day, spending hundreds in the matter of days are a big deal for us, but not when it comes to our son. We could spend our entire salary; entire savings even, if that’s what it takes to see him cheerful like that. When he was sick, I wished I have the ability to suck all the diseases and pains out of him, like in the movie Green Mile, and just let me handle them instead of my son. I just couldn’t stand watching him in pain, it really crushes my heart.

That’s how strong parents love is. It is unconditional and everlasting. I know this before, I just didn’t understand. Now I do understand, and my respect and love towards my parents are exponentially increased. I imagine they felt (and still feel) the same way I do with Aufa. You may think you know it well, but you can only understand this unconditional love when you have your own children. It’s beautiful, worth every blood, every tear, every sweat, every second and every day of your life.

That’s what happened recently. Nothing academic and factual, just incidents that got me thinking and appreciating my life more and more, day after day.


~ by jfa3903 on March 1, 2011.

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